Fly Rants: In The Midst Of A Global Pandemic, My Mom Had A Double Lung Transplant
In the midst of a global pandemic that has left families broken and in grief, my mother’s story could have had a very different outcome.
There’s an app on the Apple Watch called “Breathe” that reminds you throughout the day to breathe. You can pick one to five minutes of intentional breathing. I often dismiss it when it pops up on my watch- which is bomb btw. I’m late to getting an Apple Watch and it’s been a game changer to my workouts. Sam, Kyle, Scott, Amir, and Gregg are my personal trainers. Betina is my girl too. I am losing weight while keeping my booty.
I digress.
But when’s the last time you’ve been intentional about your breathing? I think of my mother, who for the last three years struggled to breathe due to a lung disease. The doctors said it would get progressively worse and by April of this year, my mom was admitted to the hospital on heavy oxygen.
We knew that she was on the list for a lung transplant and that they would call her at some point. But in April after a weekend of struggling to breathe, she went to the emergency room and they admitted her to hospital to await a double lung transplant.
As some Black folks avoid the doctor- I am thankful that there are skilled doctors who can perform a double lung transplant. I also have a family member who was avoiding the doctors only to be diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Black folks, we can’t afford to play around with our health. This isn’t the Tuskegee Experiment. Most definitely advocate for your health, ask tons of questions, change doctors if the vibe isn’t right and or you don’t like their practice, and fight for yourself. But see the doctor.
It has been a journey to see a parent struggle with an illness. My mom is my girl. I know unconditional love because of her. Really between my mother and father, I’m spoiled af. My father made me a party tray of homemade sushi for my birthday that just passed in May.
Future hubby has some really big shoes to fill and I love it.
To see my mother who definitely never left the house in a bonnet, who went to the gym 3-4 times a week, who loved gardening, cleaning, and fussing need a machine to breathe was a frightening image. I’ve seen a very self-sufficient woman need help from my father to do very normal things.
Which is a story in itself. Why are Black folks so unemotional? Trying to survive has left us unable to be emotionally vulnerable. When I tell my parents how beautiful their union is-they brush it off. Like, sir and ma'am, I can’t even get a call back from someone who wants to be consistent and ya’ll out here doting on each other in a crisis. The love between a spouse who takes care of a sick spouse is a direct display of the love that God speaks of.
It’s beautiful and I want that. Me to my mother, “Ma, I want someone to take care of me like Daddy takes care of you.” She goes, “you will, girl.” I pray so because it’s ghetto out here. That’s why I mind my Black-owned business and drink my water. Let me finish reading 31 Prayers for my Future Husband so God knows I’m serious.
It’s been one month since my mom underwent a 12 hour surgery for a double lung transplant and my girl is still here and she’s recovering. She is breathing on her own and her smart mouth is slowly coming back.
Throughout this entire ordeal, all I could think about was, “But God.”
Sometimes church sayings can come across as a cliche and they are often harder to actually adhere to than to say.
“Let go and let God”- Really? I’m supposed to let go of the fact that so and so talked to me crazy or the fact that I got overlooked again for an opportunity.
“It’s all in God’s time”- Well, this CP time ain’t cute, Jesus.
“God’s plan”- Are you only blessing Drake, Jesus?
I had to stop viewing my mom’s health challenges through a practical lens and understand that her situation was a spiritual battle that was designed to give God all the glory.
A lot of times we can’t see past a problem because we are only looking at the issue through our realistic mindframe instead of relying on our faith and truly believing that we have a supernatural power working in and through us.
My mom is a living testimony. I have witnessed a miracle.
And everything did happen on God’s time. From my parents receiving their vaccinations in a timely fashion to my mother passing all the needed requirements and tests in order to be placed on the lung transplant list to my mother’s extreme discomfort that forced her to the emergency room where she was then admitted into the hospital, which in turn bumped her name to the top of the transplant list.
I was still home in Baltimore because of my birthday and I delayed returning to New York because I was waiting for my tiny Staud purse delivery when my dad got the call that lungs came in and they had my mom scheduled for surgery.
Everything worked out.
I will never forget my conversation with mom right before her operation. She was gleeful and excited for the surgery. “I’m off to get my new lungs!” she exclaimed.
“Carla, everything is going to be fine, right?”
“Yes, it is, Ma.”
And I was able to say that with such confidence because I knew that God didn’t bring her this far to leave her. I knew that everything was working out in her favor because God never leaves us nor forsakes us.
My mom has always been a strong woman but more importantly, she’s always been a heavy praying woman. She has always leaned on Jesus and she instilled into me to really trust in God. And while my father and I awaited for updates from the nurse as my mom underwent the operation, we were calm. We both knew that my mother was going to make it.
It’s hard to describe what faith is and what it looks like. For me, as a “Type A” , high achiever- I have acknowledged that it’s not my work that takes me from glory to glory, it’s my faith. Faith for me is the “knowing” that everything will work out. If I am to believe in anything, why not believe in the good?
Faith is in all of the nuances in life, the small and big ones. I see faith as an understanding that I’m going to have a good day. My feet hit the ground- that’s a good thing. No one is in the gym but me? Win. Trader Joe’s had my favorite coffee creamer? Look at God. But for real; faith for me is always keeping my mind focused on God so not only do I see the good and God in things, I operate in grace like God, so my actions, thoughts and words are with love. And with God, I’m strategic and because I know that God will work things out.
As I FaceTime with my mom, I just look at her with awe. My girl is here and breathing and all I can say, “But God.”
